Everyone Needs A Florence

I do not remember the first time I met Florence, the memories of our first few interactions are hazy. I do, however, remember when I had a full conversation with Florence for the first time. She was in a relationship with my housemate (brother/financial advisor/friend), L, and I had gone to his room to get something when I met Florence practising yoga. At that time, I was also into yoga and was practising daily, we talked about the poses we liked and she shared tips with me. The next conversation we had (that I remember) was when I asked about a loungewear she had on and she told me she got it from ASOS. I vaguely remember her coming into my room while I was helping Ife out with her hair one day and we had a discussion about me and my many talents. Florence and I did not get close because there was a certain level of respect I had for L and I transferred that to Florence. L is strong on boundaries and, I was careful about crossing any. I moved out of the house less than a year after meeting Florence but I knew I liked her. I stalked her a couple of times, I know she stalked me too.

Flox and I became close sometime last year after I planned L’s proposal to her. We bonded over the wedding planning, and we realised we had a couple of things in common, but this is not about our bond, it’s about my love for Flox (or maybe it’s about both). My favourite thing about our friendship is how we resolve misunderstandings. I typically shy away from talking about misunderstandings and issues in friendships, I prefer to sweep things under the rug and disappear when I get overwhelmed, but not with Flox. The first time we did that, I did not realise what had happened but the second time, I knew. I went home, mulled over it for some days and became conscious of the fact that I had a healthy friendship, one in which we could call each other out over hypocritical behaviours without the risk of it degenerating.

In the one year of our deep friendship, I’ve grown to love Flox’s dedication to work. She’s so inspirational, she always and I mean, always, puts the extra in extraordinary. I’m eternally enthusiastic to talk about Flox and her outstanding work ethic. I’m ever so proud to go on and on about how she’s the best product designer in Nigeria and her commitment and focus. Sometimes when work gets overwhelming, I go to Flox & L’s house, they listen to me rant, make me food, listen some more, assist me in breaking down my tasks and when necessary, they help in doing some parts of the work. I love them so much, you can’t understand.

I recently created a list of things Flox is oblivious to when I found out that she doesn’t know Poco Lee. There’s a certain ignorance and innocence to Flox, one that is mostly found in people that do not spend hours meaninglessly and mindlessly scrolling through different social media platforms. I’m jealous of that.

Our friendship and love for each other is built on a foundation of mutual respect and admiration. Stalking others to find information and putting together pieces of gist that do that concern us is one of our shared interests. We also have our love for books and our Kindles in common. When I’m with Flox, I’m always comfortable being vulnerable about my fears and worries, I always want to tell her all my secrets (thankfully, she knows just 1, whew!) and pour out everything. Maybe it’s how she looks at me like I’m the most important person in the world at the time, or the rapt attention she pays when listening, perhaps it’s the lack of judgement from her, I cannot say exactly, but I know that I’m comfortable being with Flox. Flox is animated when talking about issues/causes she’s passionate about, I enjoy watching her talk and make gestures at every point. Her passion for self-development inspires me.

In this world, you need someone that believes in you, you need someone that will listen and encourage you when the road gets rough, you need someone that will console you when your heart gets broken, you need someone that will make you feel welcome into their home when the world gets overwhelming, you need some that inspires you, you need someone who reminds you of a different version of yourself, you need someone that opposes you respectfully, you need someone whose love for family makes you smile, you need someone who is gracious, above all, you need someone who you can share tidbits of your Christian journey with. In this world, you need a Flox. Everyone needs a Florence.