My answer used to be yes. Y-E-S, YES!!! I’m friends with two of my exes (I’m not sure what my relationship with the 3rd is), not friends like that, but there’s a cordial relationship and to an extent, I’m close to one. Was, was close to one.

This is a story of how my ex’s current evicted me with wisdom. So this ex let’s call him A made me proud. Actually, I was jejely on my own, he messaged me and told me of an accomplishment which he seemed excited about. Now, a little backstory. I met A when I was 17, we were friends before we became lovers, he used to share his dreams and visions with me. Stuff happened and we broke up but we’ve remained close friends. Over the years, I’ve seen him achieve his dreams and of course, I’m always happy for him. So back to my story, he told me of the accomplishment and while expressing my happiness, I told him I loved him and I probably said one or two other stuff and then I went to bed.

I woke up to a missed call and a message from A, I was wondering why he would call me that late when he knew I was sleeping (different timezone), I replied his message and he said his girlfriend saw our chat. First thing my selfish self asked was if he was going to stop talking to me, he said no, so I was a bit unbothered. I went to check IG and I saw a follow request from The Current, and a dm too. I felt somehow because I’d never been in such a situation before and I honestly didn’t mean any harm. She had asked if I minded talking to her and I was like okay.

I won’t talk about what she sent but she was so nice, like really nice. If someone tells my boyfriend she loves him, I won’t even deal with the someone, I’ll finish my boyfriend, he’ll regret ever meeting that someone. But I understand The Current wanted clarification and I was equally nice to her, I’m actually always nice to my friends’ girlfriends. Anyway sha, we ended the talk on a nice and cordial note, I followed her back on IG and I like her pictures whenever I see them. Wow, I’m such a good person lol.

I didn’t tell A that his girlfriend messaged me, I didn’t see the need to. I tried talking to him and his response was rather stiff, so I figured he was trying to save his relationship. I don’t want to be that ex that is always in the picture and always coming up during fights.

I guess now I’m against staying friends with exes, let exes remain exes. And I won’t be the selfish ex that always wants her exes to be around her. Once we’re done, we’re done.

A’s birthday is on Sunday and I always talk to him on his birthday, always. I want to respect his relationship and keep away but at the same time, I don’t want to look and seem petty. See the type of problems I’m having lmao, I think I’m living the best life.

 

image – blog.theicebreak.com

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3 Comments

  1. I think it depends on why the breakup happened in the first place. Personally, I’m not sure it’s a good idea, but there are success stories of exes who started again.

  2. Ayima Ieeve Reply

    Well, like Mims rightly pointed out, it depends on how it ended.
    I also think it has a lot to do with the kind of person the ex is.
    When I broke with my ex, I felt we should remain friends,not that we should still keep seeing or calling each other, but at least we should not become enemies. Her response shocked me, she was like we can not be friends, what for? and all of that. I had no choice, I kept my distance.
    Somehow it got her head that the world revolved around her, she felt my posts were direct at her, she tried to paint a picture that depicted that we were some sort of arch rivals, or as if we were in some kind of competition. Unfortunately, for her I have been a person who minds his business and I did exactly that. I think she is tired now. We have both moved on, infact I moved on shortly after that.
    But notwithstanding, if your ex has a level of maturity and is realistic, there is nothing wrong with being friends, you all just have to understand where you stand.

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