Two Saturdays ago, I was going to write a cynical post on love, I titled the post “Does love truly exist?” I wrote some lines and had to leave to run some errands, and for some reasons, I never got back to completing the post. Let me share the little I wrote.
Does Love truly exist?
It’s a question I’ve asked myself for a long time. No, I’ve not been unlucky with relationships. I’m just of the school of thought that love is for weaklings. I’ve seen friends and people around get hurt by those who claim to be in love with them and I’ve also seen them hurt people they claim to love. Then most times they get back together and continue the vicious cycle of love. I don’t get it, how can you claim to love someone and go out of your way to hurt the said person? How can you be “crazy” about her and not forgive her? How can you love someone and walk away from all you share? How does that work? The only perfect love stories I know of are those I see in movies and read in my books. Maybe I’m looking in wrong places. Maybe I’m just being extremely cynical about love. Maybe love is actually synonymous with hurt and heartbreaks.
I met someone through a mutual friend some time ago and we connected so much and became great friends. I wasn’t sure of what I wanted from him but I was so certain a relationship between us wasn’t going to work out quite well. I made that clear as the realist that I am, I constantly told him to put “no emotions” while dealing with me. That was my little way of avoiding the avoidable. We talked every day, we made jokes, and fought, we talked about our future aspirations and every other thing great friends talk about. I knew his flaws and saw his faults but that didn’t stop me from liking him greatly. Then one day, like a flash, I realized I was probably in love. Pause. What? ‘Hello Heart, how on earth did this happen? What did I do to make you do this to me?’ Mind asked frantically.
I told him I liked him, he told me about what I said initially about things not working out between us. Long story short, I got burnt. Jemima got burnt. It’s funny when we run into the exact things we try to run away from. I stay away from relationships because I don’t want heartbreaks, yet here I am, single and nursing a burnt heart.
The title of this post is misleading, I don’t know what makes love burn, and I don’t have a tested and trusted way of dealing with this. All I know is – When love burns; it hurts.