Yesterday I was talking to a dear friend about relationships and how most couples in this age struggle to keep it together and we were baffled as to why that is. And so, we looked at it from every point of view that our minds could.

The truth is, time has nothing to do with what couples face today. The fact you’ve been together for 10 years doesn’t mean you know him, in short that might even mean you know him less than you should. Knowing your spouse for a very long time does not really matter but what matters is how well u know him. Let me explain.


You meet a guy for the first time, obviously you both put your best foots forward. So, nobody has seen the other’s true side. Then you start dating, the need to keep pleasing each other still lingers, you still don’t really know each other, instead you begin to imitate each other based on behavior, style, taste and so on. Gradually you begin to lose who you are in the relationship and become who he/she (your partner) is. You get married, then the real problem sets in. You have no need to keep trying to please each other and the true colors begin to show. Then we have complaints like “ You are not who you used to be,” my dear, he never was who he was.

The need to follow and being pressured by the society into rushing in a relationship is a big problem today. There is nothing bad, in taking your time to discover yourself before moving from one relationship to another. And when you eventually get into one, let your partner know the real you, don’t think time is going by and your friends are having kids. Makeup hides a lot of hidden stories in broken homes today because of lack of a solid foundation in knowing your spouse.

So, first know who you are before you begin to know someone else. Your happiness is never to be sacrificed for societal pleasure.or else you will end up being a story on the page of a magazine or a topic on a tv show.

“Who am I?” is not a mentally deranged question to ask yourself. Rather it is a necessity. Ask yourself today, who are you really?


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